ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Opposites attract.
Then they argue about the thermostat for forty years. Whoever outlives the other finally sets it.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
- You said "this is my year". You've said it since 2019. The years have…
- You typed "speak to an agent" nine times. The bot sent you a help…
- You don't skip leg day. You skip every day. The legs know. The legs…
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- Not all who wander are lost. You are. The map gave up.
- Compound interest is the eighth wonder of the world. Your overdraft found it first.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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