ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You left them on read "to be mysterious".
They didn't notice. They were also being mysterious. You're now two mysteries who will never speak again.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You "can't do mornings". You also can't do afternoons, evenings or emails.
- Opposites attract. Then they argue about the thermostat for forty years. Whoever outlives the…
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
- You said "this is my year". You've said it since 2019. The years have…
- You typed "speak to an agent" nine times. The bot sent you a help…
- You don't skip leg day. You skip every day. The legs know. The legs…
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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