ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You left them on read "to be mysterious".
They didn't notice. They were also being mysterious. You're now two mysteries who will never speak again.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped…
- Some days you're the pigeon. Most days you're the statue, and nobody remembers who…
- Someone laminated an "Acceptable Behaviour" poster for the office kitchen. It will still be…
- Your banking app pauses slightly before opening. It's deciding how to tell you.
- The house will be tidy again one day. The day they move out. Tidy,…
- You said you're "so busy" this week. Your screen time says eleven hours a…
- Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle. The kettle will outlast…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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