ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
“I'm here for the right reasons.”
The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a fake tan.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
- You bought the yoga mat. The cat uses it. The cat is more flexible,…
- The retirement age goes up a year every time you check. It's not a…
- You spent £400 on an ergonomic chair. You sit on it like a frog.…
- You left them on read "to be mysterious". They didn't notice. They were also…
- He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped…
- Some days you're the pigeon. Most days you're the statue, and nobody remembers who…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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