ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you.
It's not proud. It's given up. Even the bird has moved on.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Nobody notices when you do your job well. Everyone notices when you leave at…
- The weekend is two days long. Monday is nine emotional days long, and you're…
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
- You call yourself "a bit of a foodie". You've ordered the same chicken 64…
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
- A good night out now means home by ten. Nobody had to come and…
- Your banking app pauses slightly before opening. It's deciding how to tell you.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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