ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Loud budgeting is telling everyone you can't afford brunch.
Quiet budgeting is going anyway, checking your balance in the car and moving retirement to 79.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- “I'm here for the right reasons.” The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a…
- The bins are now fortnightly. The council tax is still monthly.
- The award show ran four hours. The only winner was the advert break.
- You can't take money with you when you go. Your direct debits, however, will…
- The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. You took it…
- Limited-time event. Will not return. Neither will your Saturday.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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