ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Dating apps let you meet hundreds of people.
All of them are "just seeing where it goes". It goes nowhere. It went nowhere with you twice.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Loud budgeting is telling everyone you can't afford brunch. Quiet budgeting is going anyway,…
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- “I'm here for the right reasons.” The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a…
- The bins are now fortnightly. The council tax is still monthly.
- The award show ran four hours. The only winner was the advert break.
- You can't take money with you when you go. Your direct debits, however, will…
- The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. You took it…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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