ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Teamwork makes the dream work.
It also means six people are ready to blame you. In writing.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You "don't believe in labels". You believe in being kept as an option.
- Mistakes were made. Nobody made them. They just happened, like weather.
- You have an eleven-step skincare routine. Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is…
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- The hardest part of working out is getting started. You've made sure it stays…
- Synergy is two departments confused about the same thing at once. They'll merge. You'll…
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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