ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
TUESDAY, 13 APRIL 1982
Your company will send flowers to your funeral.
They'll be charged to your department's budget.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You don't skip leg day. You skip every day. The legs know. The legs…
- The award show ran four hours. The only winner was the advert break.
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- They're taking time away from social media. You know because they posted about it…
- Running clears your head. Mostly of the idea that you're a runner.
- You'll never get on the property ladder. The only plot you'll ever own is…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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