ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You "speak your truth".
Your truth is mostly about the bin rota.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You've "found your aesthetic". It's beige. It's always beige.
- Your company will send flowers to your funeral. They'll be charged to your department's…
- You don't skip leg day. You skip every day. The legs know. The legs…
- The award show ran four hours. The only winner was the advert break.
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- They're taking time away from social media. You know because they posted about it…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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