ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before you'd finished typing.
The children have requested a second opinion. They'll be getting it in 2041, at their own expense.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're "taking a social media break". You announced it on social media. Twice. With…
- "It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English. It will be only…
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
- The consultation runs for twelve weeks. The decision was made in week zero.
- You're not broke. You're pre-rich. The "pre" is permanent.
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- The customer is always right. The customer is also on hold, forever, which is…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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