ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The loot box has a 0.5% chance of something good.
The studio has a 100% chance of your money.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- You call yourself "a bit of a foodie". You've ordered the same chicken 64…
- Think outside the box. The box had the budget. You're out here with a…
- You did the Mannequin Challenge again for old times' sake. The standing still was…
- You deleted the app "for good". That was 40 minutes ago. You've reinstalled it…
- Kids grow up so fast. Except between 5pm and bedtime, when time stops and…
- Every parent has a favourite child. It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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