ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
There's someone out there for everyone.
Yours married someone else in 2019. They look happy.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You moneymaxxed so hard this month you earned $4.80 in cashback. It cost three…
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- You're "taking a social media break". You announced it on social media. Twice. With…
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. You took it…
- You got a houseplant to "take care of something". It died. Even the plant…
- Every Monday you swear this week will be different. You've sworn it nine hundred…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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