ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
WEDNESDAY, 17 AUGUST 1983
Some people run marathons.
You run late, and you still come last.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You typed "speak to an agent" nine times. The bot sent you a help…
- You said you're "booked and busy". Booked for a dentist you'll cancel. Busy rewatching…
- Coffee doesn't fix Monday. It just makes sure you're fully conscious for it.
- You spent £400 on an ergonomic chair. You sit on it like a frog.…
- Your soft launch was a hand in a photo. The hard launch never came.…
- The weekend is two days long. Monday is nine emotional days long, and you're…
- You've been "about to start the gym" since January. It's October. The gym has…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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