ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
THURSDAY, 31 MAY 1984
You swore you'd never sound like your parents.
You just said "because I said so" in your dad's exact voice. He lives in you now.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- You call it "quiet quitting". Your manager calls it "the same as before". Nobody…
- You're "in your villain era". You returned a lukewarm coffee and apologised four times.…
- Scale your business. Currently it's you, a laptop, and your mum, who bought one…
- A budget is a list of things you're about to do anyway. Written down…
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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