ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress".
It said the same when you opened it by accident. It'll keep saying it after you've gone, if nobody cancels the subscription.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Someone laminated an "Acceptable Behaviour" poster for the office kitchen. It will still be…
- Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing. When you…
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
- You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
- You've "romanticised your life". It's a candle, a croissant and a playlist called "main…
- Dating apps let you meet hundreds of people. All of them are "just seeing…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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