ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You say you're "an old soul".
You're 21. The only old thing about you is your phone's battery health.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- A tidy playroom lasts exactly as long as it takes to photograph. The photo…
- The best time to start saving was twenty years ago. The second-best time was…
- Age is just a number. So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than…
- A tidy playroom lasts exactly as long as it takes to photograph. The photo…
- Every birthday is a gift. The gift is one fewer birthday.
- Someone laminated an "Acceptable Behaviour" poster for the office kitchen. It will still be…
- You're ageing like a fine wine. Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark,…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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