ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Skipping your daily coffee won't buy you a house.
Nothing will. Have the coffee.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped…
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- Love yourself first. Someone has to, and nobody else applied.
- Limited-time event. Will not return. Neither will your Saturday.
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
- Monday motivation is a myth. Like the Loch Ness Monster, a clean office microwave,…
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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