ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
"Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again."
That's also the plan for your job next quarter.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your savings account isn't empty. It's a memorial.
- Step outside your comfort zone. It's raining out there, everything costs more, and nobody…
- Fortnite was free to play. It was not free to stop.
- Monday is a perfectly normal day. You've got about two thousand more of them.…
- You've "found your aesthetic". It's beige. It's always beige.
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
- You have 47 tabs open. Three are jobs you'll never apply for, one's a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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