ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Being single means nobody steals your duvet.
It also means the duvet is the only witness to your life.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're "on a gap year". It's your third.
- Limited-time event. Will not return. Neither will your Saturday.
- You spent £400 on an ergonomic chair. You sit on it like a frog.…
- You're not a CEO. You're one person with a logo, a free email account…
- Some people run marathons. You run late, and you still come last.
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
- Unlimited holiday is a lovely policy. The company did the maths on your guilt,…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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