ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
MONDAY, 1 SEPTEMBER 1986
Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner.
You'll eat standing up for eighteen years. Then sit down and forget how.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You've "been meaning to" for three years. The thing you meant to do has…
- The form needs a form. The second form is not currently available.
- Disrupt the industry. The industry will disrupt you back, then buy your logo for…
- You've "romanticised your life". It's a candle, a croissant and a playlist called "main…
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- Early access means you paid to watch someone not finish something. You do that…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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