ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You're not getting older.
You're getting closer. That's worse.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Unlimited holiday is a lovely policy. The company did the maths on your guilt,…
- Wisdom comes with age. So does standing on the landing with no idea why…
- You "can't do mornings". You also can't do afternoons, evenings or emails.
- You have a "5-year plan". It's a Pinterest board. It's mostly kitchens.
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- Everything happens for a reason. The reason is you. It's always been you.
- Listen to your body. It's asking for a biscuit and a lie-down. It's been…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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