ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Beach body ready?
The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't waiting for you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Work smarter, not harder. You've chosen neither, and HR has a folder.
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- The first email you open on Monday is a reply-all from Friday. Forty replies.…
- It's not a career ladder. It's a hamster wheel. The hamster has a LinkedIn…
- You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
- Everyone's bringing back the dog filter. Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look…
- You "love deeply". Mostly a fictional man who doesn't know you exist. Neither do…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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