ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you.
It's not proud. It's given up. Even the bird has moved on.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- Nobody has ever said "thank goodness it's Monday". Except a manager, and he meant…
- Wealth is built slowly. Debt is built quickly. And it's hereditary.
- Good things come to those who wait. You waited so long they went to…
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- “I'm here for the right reasons.” The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a…
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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