ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You said "that's so me" about a horoscope.
It also described 600 million other people and a goldfish.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Skipping your daily coffee won't buy you a house. Nothing will. Have the coffee.
- Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…
- 2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees…
- Compound interest is the eighth wonder of the world. Your overdraft found it first.…
- You can do anything you set your mind to. Your mind has set itself…
- Everything happens for a reason. The reason is you. It's always been you.
- You hyped your mate's mixtape. You've never listened to it. Neither has anyone. Including…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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