ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
MONDAY, 3 JUNE 1991
Your soulmate is out there.
Currently leaving someone better on read.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Growing old is mandatory. Growing up was optional. You ticked "later". This is later.…
- You'll leave your children everything you have. It's mostly a bread maker and an…
- Consistency is key. You've said "I'll go tomorrow" for three years. It's the only…
- Synergy is two departments confused about the same thing at once. They'll merge. You'll…
- Age is just a number. So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than…
- You reinstalled Pokémon Go to get your steps up. Eleven kilometres later you'd caught…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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