ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Everything happens for a reason.
The reason is you. It's always been you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You hyped your mate's mixtape. You've never listened to it. Neither has anyone. Including…
- The first email you open on Monday is a reply-all from Friday. Forty replies.…
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
- Growing old is mandatory. Growing up was optional. You ticked "later". This is later.…
- You'll leave your children everything you have. It's mostly a bread maker and an…
- Consistency is key. You've said "I'll go tomorrow" for three years. It's the only…
- Synergy is two departments confused about the same thing at once. They'll merge. You'll…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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