ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark.
There wasn't. She knew in four minutes. You paid for both.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- No pain, no gain. You chose neither. Your heart has noted it in your…
- The in-office lunch is optional. The man with the clipboard and no sandwich is…
- You said "that's so me" about a horoscope. It also described 600 million other…
- You've "been meaning to" for three years. The thing you meant to do has…
- Your startup is a chatbot that tells customers they're right. Investors loved it. The…
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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