ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You have an eleven-step skincare routine.
Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is doing its best. It isn't a miracle worker.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Limited-time event. Will not return. Neither will your Saturday.
- Love yourself first. Someone has to, and nobody else applied.
- You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
- You call it "quiet quitting". Your manager calls it "the same as before". Nobody…
- The hardest part of working out is getting started. You've made sure it stays…
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- Synergy is two departments confused about the same thing at once. They'll merge. You'll…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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