ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You're "chronically online".
Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have a loading icon.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Synergy is two departments confused about the same thing at once. They'll merge. You'll…
- You went "no contact" with your ex. You still check their Spotify. They're listening…
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
- Things will look better in the morning. No. They'll just be better lit.
- The customer is always right. The customer is also on hold, forever, which is…
- Inside every older person is a younger person. The younger person is furious about…
- Doom spending is buying a heated eye mask because the news was bad. The…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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