ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You're ageing like a fine wine.
Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark, away from people.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- A budget is a list of things you're about to do anyway. Written down…
- Youth is wasted on the young. You wasted yours too. Old age is next,…
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- You went "no contact" with your ex. You still check their Spotify. They're listening…
- Every summit sends a very strong signal. The planet keeps not receiving it.
- You call yourself "a bit of a foodie". You've ordered the same chicken 64…
- Your financial advisor is a spreadsheet you opened once in January. It's been screaming…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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