ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You said "it's giving" about your own life.
It's giving overdraft. It's giving rent arrears. It's giving a group chat that muted you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You "don't believe in labels". You believe in being kept as an option.
- You don't skip leg day. You skip every day. The legs know. The legs…
- Your therapist said set boundaries. You set one. Then texted them at 2 a.m.…
- You're ageing like a fine wine. Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark,…
- A budget is a list of things you're about to do anyway. Written down…
- Youth is wasted on the young. You wasted yours too. Old age is next,…
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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