ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
WEDNESDAY, 22 JULY 1992
The first email you open on Monday is a reply-all from Friday.
Forty replies. Four mention you. None kindly.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Every parent has a favourite child. It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
- Early access means you paid to watch someone not finish something. You do that…
- Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark. There wasn't. She…
- Quality family time: everyone on a different screen in the same room, harvested by…
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
- Step outside your comfort zone. It's raining out there, everything costs more, and nobody…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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