ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You're "chronically online".
Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have a loading icon.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- "It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English. It will be only…
- Things will look better in the morning. No. They'll just be better lit.
- You spent £400 on an ergonomic chair. You sit on it like a frog.…
- Every parent has a favourite child. It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
- Step outside your comfort zone. It's raining out there, everything costs more, and nobody…
- You said "that's so me" about a horoscope. It also described 600 million other…
- You hyped your mate's mixtape. You've never listened to it. Neither has anyone. Including…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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