ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
“I'm here for the right reasons.”
The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a fake tan.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- They're taking time away from social media. You know because they posted about it…
- Everything happens for a reason. The reason is you. It's always been you.
- Your squad misses you, says the notification. Your squad is four strangers and a…
- Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle. The kettle will outlast…
- Your startup is an app that replaces a phone call. With a waitlist, a…
- Some people run marathons. You run late, and you still come last.
- You said "my For You page knows me so well". It knows you're awake…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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