ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle.
The kettle will outlast the excitement. Possibly you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your startup is an app that replaces a phone call. With a waitlist, a…
- Some people run marathons. You run late, and you still come last.
- You said "my For You page knows me so well". It knows you're awake…
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- "It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English. It will be only…
- Things will look better in the morning. No. They'll just be better lit.
- You spent £400 on an ergonomic chair. You sit on it like a frog.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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