ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Every birthday is a gift.
The gift is one fewer birthday.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You said you're "booked and busy". Booked for a dentist you'll cancel. Busy rewatching…
- You spent £400 on an ergonomic chair. You sit on it like a frog.…
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
- Nobody has ever said "thank goodness it's Monday". Except a manager, and he meant…
- It's not a career ladder. It's a hamster wheel. The hamster has a LinkedIn…
- Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark. There wasn't. She…
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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