ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
TUESDAY, 31 MAY 1994
Doom spending is buying a heated eye mask because the news was bad.
The news is still bad. Your eyes are warmer. So is your overdraft.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The award show ran four hours. The only winner was the advert break.
- You said "my For You page knows me so well". It knows you're awake…
- A tidy playroom lasts exactly as long as it takes to photograph. The photo…
- Early access means you paid to watch someone not finish something. You do that…
- Don't settle. Your standards already have. They didn't tell you.
- You'll never get on the property ladder. The only plot you'll ever own is…
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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