ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
"Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel.
You'll still lose.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your savings account isn't empty. It's a memorial.
- They're taking time away from social media. You know because they posted about it…
- Start the week strong. Or at 9:14, camera off, pretending your face is a…
- You're "so random". You've told the same "so random" story at every party since…
- Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle. The kettle will outlast…
- It's not a career ladder. It's a hamster wheel. The hamster has a LinkedIn…
- Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing. When you…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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