ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month.
The call took 94 minutes. You break even in 2031. They put it back up in 2027.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You said "this is my year". You've said it since 2019. The years have…
- He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped…
- Your favourite music is now called "a classic". So are you. It means old.
- Growing old is mandatory. Growing up was optional. You ticked "later". This is later.…
- Dating apps let you meet hundreds of people. All of them are "just seeing…
- The retirement age goes up a year every time you check. It's not a…
- They posted an apology in the Notes app. It was addressed to the fans.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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