ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
"It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years.
You're the phase they'll describe to a therapist.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
- You "romanticise studying". You've filmed it, lit it and soundtracked it. You haven't studied.
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
- You said "this is my year". You've said it since 2019. The years have…
- He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped…
- Your favourite music is now called "a classic". So are you. It means old.
- Growing old is mandatory. Growing up was optional. You ticked "later". This is later.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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