ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
MONDAY, 15 JANUARY 1996
AI agrees with you more than any human ever has.
That's not wisdom. That's a well-mannered hostage with a monthly subscription.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Things will look better in the morning. No. They'll just be better lit.
- Some people run marathons. You run late, and you still come last.
- Your 5am routine went viral. You did it once, filmed it, and have slept…
- "It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years. You're the…
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
- You "romanticise studying". You've filmed it, lit it and soundtracked it. You haven't studied.
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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