ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Some days you're the pigeon.
Most days you're the statue, and nobody remembers who you were either.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- You swore you'd never sound like your parents. You just said "because I said…
- They say sweat is weakness leaving the body. Yours has decided to stay.
- "It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English. It will be only…
- Your friends' group chat went quiet. It didn't. They made a new one. Same…
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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