ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
SUNDAY, 17 NOVEMBER 1996
You said "my For You page knows me so well".
It knows you're awake and lonely at 2 a.m. That's not a gift. That's data.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Monday has its own support group. The group is everyone. The meetings are also…
- You said you're "built different". You're built the same. Just assembled worse.
- Beach body ready? The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't…
- The form needs a form. The second form is not currently available.
- Monday morning has the energy of a printer that knows you're in a hurry.…
- You said "we move". You've lived in the same bedroom since you were nine.
- Growing old is mandatory. Growing up was optional. You ticked "later". This is later.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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