ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before you'd finished typing.
The children have requested a second opinion. They'll be getting it in 2041, at their own expense.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Parenthood is a long journey from "mama" to "can you send money" to them…
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- Think outside the box. The box had the budget. You're out here with a…
- You've rewritten that text nine times to sound like you didn't care. It's been…
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- Nobody notices when you do your job well. Everyone notices when you leave at…
- Be yourself. Everyone else is taken. They were picked first. You're what was left.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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