ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You've been "circling back" since March.
At this point you're space debris.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're "on a gap year". It's your third.
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
- Every subscription you forgot about still thinks of you monthly. That's more than your…
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
- Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing. When you…
- "It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English. It will be only…
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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