ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The return to office is completely optional.
So was the badge-swipe leaderboard, and yet there you are, ranked 41st. They're "reviewing" 41st.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your therapist said set boundaries. You set one. Then texted them at 2 a.m.…
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
- You said "that's so me" about a horoscope. It also described 600 million other…
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- Your company's core values are printed on the wall. So nobody has to have…
- Find your purpose. It's in the drawer with the takeaway menus and a key…
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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