ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Beach body ready?
The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't waiting for you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Consistency is key. You've said "I'll go tomorrow" for three years. It's the only…
- The in-office lunch is optional. The man with the clipboard and no sandwich is…
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- Your complaint has been escalated. It is now ignored by someone more senior.
- The update is 200GB. Your free afternoon was smaller.
- Love is patient. Your partner is not, and has started a note on their…
- Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress". It said the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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