ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You received 40 fundraising texts today.
Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark. There wasn't. She…
- Strangers online have voted you "not wrong". The same strangers once voted to give…
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
- Don't settle. Your standards already have. They didn't tell you.
- Love is patient. Your partner is not, and has started a note on their…
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- You asked the internet whether you were the bad guy. The internet read the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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