ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before you'd finished typing.
The children have requested a second opinion. They'll be getting it in 2041, at their own expense.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You deleted the app "for good". That was 40 minutes ago. You've reinstalled it…
- Your complaint has been escalated. It is now ignored by someone more senior.
- Opposites attract. Then they argue about the thermostat for forty years. Whoever outlives the…
- You said you're "so busy" this week. Your screen time says eleven hours a…
- You said you "thrive in a fast-paced environment". It took you three days to…
- Good things come to those who wait. You waited so long they went to…
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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